Until the Last of Me Read online

  Sylvain Neuvel

  * * *

  UNTIL THE LAST OF ME

  Take Them to the Stars, Book 2

  Contents

  ACT I 1: Helter Skelter

  2: Can’t Find My Way Home

  3: Gimme Shelter

  4: Space Oddity

  5: Everyday People

  6: Across the Universe

  7: Ziggy Stardust

  8: Papa Was a Rolling Stone

  9: All the Young Dudes

  10: Old Man

  11: Mother and Child Reunion

  12: Children of the Revolution

  ENTR’ACTE: The Fox and the Hound

  ACT II 13: Time in a Bottle

  14: Higher Ground

  15: 20th Century Boy

  16: Dream On

  17: She’s Gone

  18: Let’s Get It On

  19: Mind Games

  20: I Can’t Stand the Rain

  21: Midnight at the Oasis

  ENTR’ACTE: Scenes That Are Brightest

  ACT III 22: The Passenger

  23: Sweet Emotion

  24: Sound and Vision

  25: (Don’t Fear) the Reaper

  26: Marquee Moon

  27: White Rabbit

  28: Lola

  29: Psycho Killer

  ENTR’ACTE: Something in Your Teeth

  ACT IV 30: Let’s Go

  31: Sara

  32: Take Me to the River

  33: The Logical Song

  34: Walking on the Moon

  35: Boys Don’t Cry

  36: Mother

  37: Brass in Pocket

  38: Don’t Stop Believin’

  39: Rapture

  40: Video Killed the Radio Star

  41: Under Pressure

  42: Kids in America

  43: Private Eyes

  44: Ghost Town

  45: Anarchy in the UK

  46: Crimson and Clover

  ENTR’ACTE: The Witching Hour

  ACT V 47: How Soon Is Now?

  48: Red Rain

  49: Ship of Fools

  50: If You Leave

  51: Don’t You (Forget About Me)

  52: Running Up That Hill

  53: Live to Tell

  54: The NeverEnding Story

  55: We Belong

  ENTR’ACTE: Let Not the Sun Go Down on Your Wrath

  ACT VI 56: Under the Milky Way

  57: Everybody Knows

  58: About a Girl

  59: One

  60: Devil Inside

  61: Two Tribes

  62: Hazy Shade of Winter

  63: This Woman’s Work

  64: Let the River Run

  Conclusion It’s a Sin

  Further Reading

  Playlist

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Sylvain Neuvel has a PhD in Linguistics from the University of Chicago. He is an amateur robotics enthusiast and lifelong fan of all things science fiction. He is the author of two criticallyacclaimed series: the Themis Files novels, Sleeping Giants, Waking Gods and Only Human, and the Take Them To the Stars trilogy, including A History of What Comes Next, and Until the Last of Me. He lives in Montreal.

  ALSO BY SYLVAIN NEUVEL

  The Test

  TAKE THEM TO THE STARS

  A History of What Comes Next

  THE THEMIS FILES

  Sleeping Giants

  Waking Gods

  Only Human

  Please note that all chapter titles are song titles from the years in which the story takes place. You can listen to each song as you read or enjoy the playlist on its own. You’ll find the playlist on Apple Music by searching for “Take Them to the Stars” or at tinyurl.com/TakeThemToTheStars2. Spotify users will find it at tinyurl.com/neuvel2. You can also re-create the playlist yourself using the song list at the end of this book.

  Billions of years from now our sun, then a distended red giant star, will have reduced Earth to a charred cinder. But the Voyager record will still be largely intact, in some other remote region of the Milky Way galaxy, preserving a murmur of an ancient civilization that once flourished—perhaps before moving on to greater deeds and other worlds—on the distant planet Earth.

  —CARL SAGAN, MURMURS OF EARTH

  Act I

  1

  Helter Skelter

  1968

  I watched him die, twice. I stuck a tiki torch inside his skull. Mother blew him up with a fucking missile. And yet there’s more of him, always more of him.

  Just another daybreak on Mallorca. Bluish light. Air thick as water. I cut through the morning mist to catch the first batch of ensaimadas out of the oven. I got there early; so said the red cerrado sign on the door. I walked the hilltop, watched the dark sea vent its anger before the sun calmed it down and painted it blue. I took in the town’s quaintness before hordes of strangers defaced its narrow cobbled streets.

  He looked right at me.

  The baker unlocked her door, scolded the dog when she barged out. She waved at me through the window—I’m a part of her routine as much as she’s a part of mine. I petted Blanca for a minute, wiped the hair off my hands, and followed her back in. Soothing heat, more smells than I could distinguish. “Dos ensaimadas para llevar!” she said. “Cuatro, por favor.” I was starving. I paid, rolled the paper bag, and smiled my goodbyes.

  I ran into the Tracker just outside the door. Literally. Our bodies collided, like two old friends chest-bumping after a game. But he didn’t step back, or move, or budge. It was like I’d hit a concrete wall. I looked up from chest to face, and there the devil was staring me down.

  Slick warmth running down my legs. Mother’s death flashing before my eyes. I dropped the paper bag. The smell of fat and sugar mixed in with the stench of piss.

  He raised his hand to my shoulder and nudged me to the side.

  —Disculpe.

  He didn’t fucking know me. We killed him twice, Mother and I, but he’s never seen us. Not this one. I watched him step into the bakery. I stood there, deer in headlights. I remember thinking about his accent. British, with a hint of something else. Eastern Europe, somewhere. I was stuck in some kind of trance until I heard the sound of children running up the street.

  Running.

  Run.

  I grabbed the paper bag from the ground and dashed home. I made it in four minutes flat; we were out of there in ten. Lola didn’t ask why. She grabbed her best seashell and waited for me by the door. Lots of memories in that house. All of Lola’s. Crawling on the kitchen floor. First steps, first words. I looked around, tried to remember as much as I could before I poured gasoline all over it. Lola spoke only four words as she watched her world burn in the rearview mirror: “Don’t leave a trace.”

  But I didn’t. I fucking didn’t. I was a ghost. Different name, different life. No loose ends. Lola and I laid low. We didn’t stand out; I made sure of that. Stick bugs on a branch. Plain. Ordinary. Vanilla. I’ve made mistakes before, but not this time. I couldn’t have found us.

  Lola and I ate cold ensaimadas on the boat to Valencia. Lola didn’t cry—or speak, for that matter. She just looked at me from time to time to gauge how scared she should be—she can read me like a picture book. My daughter is unyielding, stubborn as hell, but she’s smart enough to realize her best option now is blind, unqualified trust. We hitchhiked from the port down to Alicante. One more boat to catch. I screamed at them to wait for us as they unmoored the ferry to Algiers.

  Here we are now, casting off into the unknown. The light from Spain is getting dimmer and dimmer. What life we had is fading with it. Thirteen hours until we hit shore and begin a new one. This is … limbo, the in-between. We’re still high on adrenaline. None of t
his has sunk in yet. We were … a family. Now we’re fugitives, refugees, castaways. The wind is strong on the main deck, but we’ll spend the night up here. I keep staring at the sea, waiting for him to spring out like a shark. Stupid, I know. Regardless, confined spaces just aren’t on the menu right now.

  —Mom, can we look at the stars?

  —Yes, honey. Let’s get ourselves something to drink.

  Every night, Lola and I watch the sky together, sharing a Coca-Cola. Tonight will be no different, not if I can help it. I brought her into the world. I made her prey. The least I can do is let her have these moments. Sorting through loose change. The tumble of the bottle in the coin machine. Pop. Fizz. This is our time. Our five minutes before I put the weight of a hundred lives on her tiny shoulders.

  —Show me Venus.

  —Venus is … over there, Lola. And that smaller dot above it is Jupiter.

  She’s six years old and living on borrowed time. It’s horrible, but that’s not what I find tragic. I think, somehow, she knows.

  —Show me … Saturn.

  —I can’t. It’s on the other side of the sun.

  She knows how this story ends, how they all end. I die. She dies. If we’re lucky, her child is born first and the Hundred and Two goes through the motions all over again. We’re the hare at a greyhound race. We can’t win; the best we can do is not lose. It’s not much, but it’s all I have to give. That and a Coca-Cola from the vending machine.

  —When can we see all the planets, Mom?

  Funny. This is what she wants. Eight dots in the night sky. How I wish I could give her that. She just watched her whole world burn. All her drawings, Roger the stuffed bear. Captain Action. She owns one set of clothes and a fucking seashell, but she wants to see the planets. Yet another thing I have to take away from her.

  —I don’t know, honey. Probably never.

  2

  Can’t Find My Way Home

  1969

  What are we? The eternal question.

  We’re … the same. My daughter will look exactly like me when she’s my age. Same sun, different day. I am what my mother was. We’re … copies, I guess. There’s no word for it. We’re like that fish from some river in Texas. All females. They pass on all of their genes to their daughters, every time. We’re like a plant cutting that turns into an identical plant. A twig.

  Philoponus of Alexandria wrote about it in the sixth century. “If someone cuts a twig from a walnut tree in Athens and plants it in Patras, two or three years later it will bear nuts that are the same in every aspect, in size and taste and color and every other character, with the ones from the walnut tree in Athens.” Klon, in ancient Greek. Good walnut wisdom, but it doesn’t answer the important question. Is it the same tree? I wish I could spend a day in my daughter’s mind and see if we’re more than each other. Am I … me?

  We are different. From everyone else, that is. We’re stronger, better than most when it comes to math and science. We’re … fierce—that’s a diplomatic way to put it—predatory at times. We can be brutal. I have. I’ve killed people. Some deserved it more than others. There’s no erasing the past. All we are is a reminder of what once was. All I can do is make amends. Dilute the bad with a little more good.

  We’re prey. The Tracker hunts us, relentlessly. He’s done it for three thousand years. He is many, like us. I killed one of them. Mother took another one with her when she ended her life to save mine. But evil is like the mail. It keeps coming and coming. The one I killed said we both come from a dying world. That I, my ancestors, hid something from them, a device of some sort. If they had it, he said, they could call home and save “our” people by bringing them here. Lies, perhaps. The devil is full of deceit and trickery. As always, we don’t know.

  We don’t know where we’re from. We don’t know why we do what we do, only that we chose to do so a hundred generations ago. Some version of us, of me, chose to. Would I make the same choice now? I don’t know. We don’t know—I guess we would as we keep on making that choice.

  Take them to the stars, before evil comes and kills them all. That’s what I was born for. That’s what my daughter has to look forward to. If we’re to believe the Tracker, that evil is “our” people—talk about irony. Then again it might be giant squids, little green men, Bible salesmen. We. Don’t. Know.

  My ancestors started with nothing, before science, before anything. They didn’t know what a star was, let alone how to get to one. It took us three thousand years, but we have made progress. We found people to help. I did. I got Wernher von Braun out of Germany after the war. The US wanted him bad. They turned a Nazi officer into the poster boy for space exploration. From SS Sturmbannführer to hosting Disney specials. That’s some major-league redemption. Von Braun will return the favor and take them to the moon. Even steven. I helped the other side, too. Sergei Korolev and I built the R-7 rocket in Russia. I did more than help. I married the man. But the Tracker found me and I had to disappear. Korolev is a widower now, but he did send the first satellite into orbit, the first man into space. All in all, I think I did my part.

  We do know a few things, six to be precise. We live by a handful of rules we set for ourselves when we knew who we were.

  Fear the Tracker. Always run, never fight.

  Preserve the knowledge.

  Survive at all costs.

  Don’t draw attention to yourself.

  Don’t leave a trace.

  Last, and certainly not least: there can never be three for too long.

  I bent a few of those rules in my youth, just a little, and we all paid the price. I lost my unborn child. I nearly died. My mother did, spectacularly. After that, I followed the rules like God handed them to me himself. It worked for a while. I had a life. I don’t know if it was mine to have, but I took it. Lola and I had a home. We had … a beach we called ours, our café, our used bookstore. I had … a friend. Let’s call her a good friend. Don’t get too attached. It’s not one of the rules, but it might as well be. I learned that one the hard way.

  It’s gone now, all of it. Because we are the same, and different, predator and prey. No matter how hard we try, there is only one thing we truly know, one inescapable truth.

  We are the Kibsu.

  3

  Gimme Shelter

  1969

  We came here to hide. They came to flaunt their resistance, daring to be seen. Outside, the streets are filled with students, poets, dancers. Inside, a hundred revolutions are brewing. Agitators, rebels, insurgents. Subversives. The Pan-African Cultural Festival is in full swing and, for a few days, Algiers is the Mecca of revolutionaries.

  They’ve fought their oppressor for over a century, but things are different now. They started winning. Kwame Nkrumah in Ghana, the Mau Mau movement in Kenya, and, of course, the Algerian war. Their fight was the longest, the bloodiest, but no one counts bodies on the winning side. They prevailed, and they inspired a whole fucking continent.

  Down with imperialism! Down with colonialism! Intellectuals cerebrate the -isms in smoky hotel rooms while musicians and fire-breathers take to the streets. Everything here is a weapon: guns, words, rhythms. Seditious minds and pulse-pounding drumbeats. This city’s electric. And hot. Fucking hot. Everything here smells of sweat and defiance.

  Our apartment is mostly sweat. Beige, bare, with a view of the same. We have plenty of money, but money draws attention. Our place most definitely doesn’t. Remember the rules.

  Lola’s a lot braver than I am. I’m still scared shitless, like I was in Germany. I see the same shadows, hear the same footsteps. We stay inside most of the time, away from the unknown, the dark alleys. But not tonight. Tonight is different. I found us a shitty bar with a good breeze to watch the moon landing. A small show of defiance, taking my seven-year-old child to a bar at three in the morning.

  This is our moment. This is why I risked my life to save von Braun, so he could build the biggest rocket ever and put a man or two on another world. I was still br
eastfeeding when Kennedy made his moon speech. “We set sail on this new sea because there is new knowledge to be gained, and new rights to be won, and they must be won and used for the progress of all people.” He used the right word: “knowledge.” I’ve had dreams about tonight ever since. I should be ecstatic, jubilant. This is what we all died for. I should be …

  Our bar filled up about an hour ago. Some Tuaregs, SWAPO guerrillas from Namibia, Angola. Tough. Not your average tough, the kind you rarely see in public spaces. These people have seen shit that can’t be unseen. I feel a great swirl of pity for the poor soul who comes into this bar looking for trouble. Half a dozen Americans walked through the door moments later. Black Panthers, as is turns out. I think everyone here came straight from a Nina Simone concert.

  This is a weird night.

  My daughter is playing darts with Angolan freedom fighters. I asked if she was bothering them and they told me to leave. Just me. Lola feels right at home in all this. Another day, another dollar. That’s her allowance. Me, I’m neck-deep into all kinds of strange. Right now I’m having a drink with Eldridge Cleaver. Let’s just say he’s not really into the moon thing.

  —I don’t see what benefit mankind will have from two astronauts landing on the moon while people are being murdered in Vietnam and suffering from hunger even in the United States.

  I don’t think he and I will be best friends, but he’s right about one thing. We’re not doing anything. Well, I’m not. Lola’s seven; she gets a pass. The point is I’m not helping anyone and I sure as hell am nowhere close to saving this world. Take them to the stars. Ha! We’ve gone from Earth to … the area around the Earth. The closest star is a hundred million times farther. A hundred million. “Baby steps” doesn’t begin to cover it. We don’t even know what’s in our solar system. Americans just walked on the moon, but it’s the Russians doing most of the exploring. They crashed a probe on Venus three years ago and they’ve been gunning for Mars for almost a decade. Years of development. Hundreds of millions spent on a few minutes of data. Those are the easy ones. Then come the outer planets. Jupiter is first, then … Then I don’t know if we can reach that far with the engines we have. There’s still so much to do and every second I spend with these people is a reminder that I’m not doing it.